What a day I’ve had. Once again my whole house like a war zone, thing’s broken, burst lip, abusive behavior, screaming, threatening, anger, frustration and tears. WTF! All from my 2 son’s, who quite frankly, HATE each other.
My oldest son who is 17 is the culprit. He has always been controlling of his younger brother, even as a young child he dominated almost every situation. unfortunately this has continued all his life. It was always more than just the ” shotgun” front car seat or who gets the bigger bowl of ice cream, or who gets to pick the film or stay up later. It’s over everything. Most sibling rivalry is normal. It happens in every house all over the world. When it gets to the point of violence with mental abuse, it’s not acceptable. It’s bullying. My eldest son, bully’s his brother and I’m stuck in the middle.
What I can’t cope with is the way he makes his brother feel. Spencer has been bullied most of his life. He has adhd with sever anxiety. By no means is he a fragile little boy, he gives as good as he gets but its been constant throughout his life. He struggles with social ques, which hinders relationship building with his peers. He has no filter and can take things too far. To round it up, AJ is embarrassed and resentful of his little brother. I’ve blamed myself, it must have been me, I must have not given him the same time and attention as his little brother, maybe I’ve been to hard on him growing up? maybe I’m putting him under too much pressure to help guide his brother to make good choices? As Spencer is a visual learner, always has been. I’ve thought of every reason for his behaviour. The truth is, AJ is a spoiled brat. Who bully’s his brother. He’s 17, an adult, who’s needing to grow the f”ck up.
His attitude blows me away. He’s horrible. Mean, spiteful, verbally abusive, cruel, selfish, bitter, twisted and will accept no responsibility for his actions. My son, who has been loved, cherished, wanted for nothing, had a privileged life, has a mum who has devoted her life to the 3 of them, has grown up to be a horrid person. He thinks he’s the Dad of the house, who wants to rule and dominate. Not only does he speak to his brother like a piece of shit, he speaks to his Dad the same. No respect for the man who’s worked every day of his life, to provide and give him a good life. No respect for myself or the fact his little 4-year-old sister witness’s all of it. I can’t cope with this anymore. I genuinely feel resentful of my son. I don’t know who he’s become? Or like who he’s become.
The kids of the generation are doomed. Selfish, entitled spoiled brats. Who walk around thinking the world owes them. I could understand AJ’s behaviour if he had a bad childhood or had to deal with hardship with no emotional support from me. His childhood has been the opposite. He’s been loved and cherished, supported throughout his whole life. Why has he become this way?? Is it my fault?? Have I spoiled him and not guided him the way I think I have? Or is this just typical teenage behaviour?? One ting I do know, I will not accept one more violent outburst towards his brother, Spencer is not his verbal or physical punch bag.
AJ has always been so kind, thoughtful and loving. That’s why I can’t understand why he’s become like this. He runs down the street to stop old people and carry their shopping, is so polite and manerable. Has stayed on at school when all his friends left. He’s in 6th year, taking more highers to get into university, wants a good life. Yet he behaves like this at home. This last 2 years has been pure torture raising him. I’m stuck! I wont put him out my house as he’s my child and that will solve nothing plus add another ton of stress onto me. I just need support to understand his behaviour. I’m an only child, so I never had any of these problems to deal with growing up.
I want my son back, I want my Son’s to be brothers and love each other. I would have done anything for a sibling. They are so lucky to have each other. Will their relationship change when they grow up?? Or will they just live separate lives??
They are breaking my heart. Its hard enough having to deal with Spencer’s meltdowns, I don’t need AJ to be doing it too. It just makes me feel like a shit mum who’s let her children down.
It’s also causing my husband and I to argue, It’ like a domino effect. I think he’s being too tough. He needs to be there on an emotional level instead of a dominearing authoritive figure. AJ and his Dad just mimic each others behavior.
Any guidance from other mum’s, Dad’s or guardians will be greatly appreciated. help!!!
LORI ( mum ready to crack ) xxx
adhdandmybeautiful3 